" For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."
- Shakespeare

I love this quote. It really puts into words, my definition of Love. Of course, I hardly have a definition, as a complete chapter on Love. But, it gets the essence of what I have to say.

I thought I'd talk about love today. I have been forced to question its sanity a number of times. I did not believe in it, a few years back. I did not want to believe in it, about a year or slightly more, back. I have always asked myself ( did not dare to ask my mom, for reason I'm not going to mention) what it is like to be in love, how does one know that one has fallen in love for sure, and the repeatedly asked question " Does one fall in love only once?''

I finally did arrive at my own theory of love. And I thought I'd put it down here, today. Nothing special, just the irresistible desire to assert the integrity of this term which has made history interesting over the ages. I get discouraged at times in believing that love does exist, so this is a way of not doing so.

Love is satisfaction; knowing that you have finally found what you want, and feeling that there is nothing more special than that in your life. Love is trust; having faith in somebody, knowing that he will never stab you in the back, knowing that he cares about you as much as you do about him. And love is desire; the need to be with somebody, the way one turns to one person at all times good or bad, feeling that wave of flutter going through you as you look into his eyes.

Why do we love? Or rather, why do we look for love? Why is it that we want to share our life with somebody, and that we make eveyr effort in finding that somebody? I guess, the answer is: at the end of the day, we all want to feel wanted. We need to know that we aren't alone in this world, and that there is somebody for whom every single thing we do, is as important, as it is to us.

Susan Sarandon talks about marriage in "Shall We Dance". She says, " We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'." I think that is quite the thing in love too. You want to know that you are being noticed. Hell, you need to know.....and you won't rest till you find it. So if that means you have to date a hundred people for a hundred years, you do that, because, at the end of the day, there is no life that is complete without love.

Love is said to be an illusion during teenage. We don't know what we talk about, when we say we love somebody. In a marriage, it is compromise. You cut back on something for the person you love. During the 40s, it takes a backseat. You have more important things to cater to. Children growing up, the midlife tensions getting to you; there isn't time to say " I love you", or may be you've gone past the stage when you even feel it. You have somebody. Thats it. Taken for granted. Nothing romantic about it. More important roles to play, the roles you play for each other vanish.

I don't even know why I'm writing this, whether it is true. But my point is, you need to realise you can't take people for granted, especially the person, who at one point of time was the 'special someone'. Love isn't just about finding the person who cares about you, and then ( a term used very frequently and very dispassionately) settle down. It is about making the other person feel special throughout life. It is about thinking of the other person before you think of yourself. It is about doing those small things like waking up in the morning and making a small cup of tea, going out on a Sunday for a quiet dinner for two, pressing her head when she just says,'' My head's starting to pain.'', helping her out in the household chores, giving him his favourite dish for lunch without telling him so, making those birthdays and anniversaries quiet, peaceful and special. That is what Love is.

It isn't about looking at each other every morning and discussing the day's work. It isn't about bickering about the broken down refrigerator every time you meet in the day. And it definitely isn't about forgetting what you promised each other in your vows, twenty years down the line.

Children will grow up and leave to live their own lives. Jobs will end one day in retirement. The dammed refrigerator will be repaired in few hours. But what never leaves your side, is that love you took to be your own; to protect and make happy, to trust and share a life with. Tears, sorrow, quarrels, are supposed to be a part of the package. But there is a difference felt (by others too), when these do tend to squash any feelings of love that might still remain.

Love is what makes life bearable, and the End easier than we think. Treasure it, treasure the other person, and let him or her know that they do , at the end of it all, mean the world to you.